Truth is Stranger than Fiction

"Thank you, Mr. President, for allowing us to interview you."

"Well, I decided that when I retired from the presidency I would answer any question put before me. Of course, if you ask any state secrets, I'll have to stay mum." The former President of the United States smiled at the young man interviewing him.

"Of course, our readers understand. Now, I'd like to steer away from questions about your term as president at first. I think our readers would like to hear something new about you."

"That would be perfectly acceptable. And I shall endeavor to answer with as much veracity as I can."

The interviewer nodded. "Yes, that's one thing that I've always wanted to ask you. You are perhaps most famous for your honesty. Every one of my readers knows of that apocryphal story about it. Would you elaborate on it, please? I mean, did it really happen?"

The President laughed. "Well, you may not be willing to print this after I tell you the whole story, but I've always wanted to tell someone what really happened that day.

"It all occurred when I was about seven or eight years old. It was the middle of the summer and, as I usually did, I was off playing around my father's farm. Whilst dodging some imaginary Indians, I happened upon the most peculiar little man hovering around my father's orchard. I immediately went off to investigate."

The President chuckled. "I'll never forget how he was dressed. Never seen a fashion quite like it. Light jacket and check trousers and a knit sweater vest with many red question marks. This man seemed to like question marks as he also carried a black parasol with a red handle that looked like a question mark. His hair was dark, short, and wavy and he wore a hat that was nothing like the style of a gentleman. But he turned to me with such a pleasant smile that I could only smile back in return.

"'Hello!' he said to me. 'Sorry if I'm in your way. I'm just investigating a bit of a mystery. Won't be long.'

"'What mystery?' I asked. 'And who are you? Why are you here? Does Father know you are here?' I know it was a lot of questions, but something about this Question Mark Man seemed to inspire them."

The President took a sip of his water as the interviewer turned to the next page of his notebook. He wondered if the young man's hand would tire out before the end of the interview, but figured that this was what he did everyday of his career anyway.

"He told me he was called the Doctor. Had I been older, I think I would have distrusted a man with no real name, but it seemed a good enough name to me at the time. 'The mystery that I have to solve concerns this tree here,' he said, pointing to the tree next to us.

"You know, I still have a hard time believing this even now. But there was something at the top of this tree. Sort of a dark nothing."

"A dark nothing?" the interviewer asked.

"Well, I really can't think of any other way to describe it. It was sort of a nonshape at the top of my father's tallest tree. Like a bite had been taken out of the top of the tree. When you first looked, it didn't seem odd. But as you stared at it, you could almost see a darkness that clouded your view of the tree."

The interviewer scratched his head with the end of his pencil. "I see what you mean about finding it hard to believe. But please, continue."

"Now let's see if I remember the term right. 'That's a quasi-temporal nulltime void,' the Doctor told me. 'Imagine if part of the universe became unstuck in time and started milling about Time and Space. You'd get pockets of these voids all over the place. And this is one of them.'

"I must admit, I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, and I may have some of his dialog wrong. Though I think I'm correct for the most part."

"I see," the interviewer said. He had stopped writing after the President had mentioned becoming 'unstuck in time' and wasn't sure how to change the subject politely.

The President continued with his story. "The Question Mark Man pointed to a box he had next to him. 'I really need to get this Temporal Stabilizer in contact with that nulltime void. If it continues to grow, it will eventually wipe out the tree and possibly even the orchard. And if it grows that big, it may be too late to stop it from consuming the world.'

"I just remember thinking how extraordinary it all sounded. But I had always been told to tell the truth and at this young age, believed that everyone else told the truth as well. Yes, I was very naïve, wouldn't you agree?"

The interviewer nodded. In order to prevent the President from thinking he'd lost interest in the story, he continued to write, though not necessarily what the President was saying.

"'How can I help?' I asked, always wanting to save the world whenever possible." The President chuckled at this thought. "The Question Mark Man thought about it for a moment. 'Do you think you can climb the tree and reach the nulltime void with the stabilizer?' I wasn't sure. Even though I was an expert at climbing trees, this one was very tall. But I agreed to try.

"The Doctor put the stabilizer around my neck and gave me a lift up to the first branches. I climbed and climbed, causing loose bark to rain down upon the Question Mark Man. When I got up as high as I could, I tried to reach this 'dark nothing' with the stabilizer. Alas, I was still too far away.

"'It's no good,' the Doctor called up. 'Be careful coming down and I'll try to think of another attack.'

"When I reached the bottom of the tree, the Question Mark Man was sitting at the base of the tree deep in thought. I looked up and noticed that the nulltime void looked bigger than before and became a little worried. 'Doctor,' I asked, 'how long will it take for this thing to get too big to stop?'

"He thought for a moment and replied, 'I'd say we had another two or three hours yet. Then we can start worrying.'

"I remember looking around for something that would help us stop this thing. I picked up one of the cherry seeds lying on the ground and put it in the pouch of my sling shot. It may seem a silly idea now, but I thought I might be able to knock this nulltime thing out of the tree.

"I shot at least thirty-five cherry pits into the nulltime void and marveled that they never came out the other side. I remember the Doctor jumping up quickly after he noticed what I was doing. 'STOP!' he yelled. 'Don't you see what you're doing? You're increasing the amount of matter being consumed by the void. It's growing even more.'

"I muttered an apology. The Doctor smiled down at me, then patted me on the head. 'That's all right. You're only trying to help.' He leaned against the tree. Then he asked me my name. I guess I hadn't thought it odd that he'd never done it. And I felt sort of foolish that I hadn't been a gentleman enough to tell him. I'll never forget his look of surprise when I told him. It was as if I were someone famous.

"'Of course! That's it!' he shouted, almost jumping up and down with excitement. 'I always thought the story was a myth, but it could have a grain of truth to it.' He seemed to be talking to himself, which was just as well since I didn't have any idea what he was talking about. Then he hugged me. 'I think you've just saved the world, my boy.'

"I beamed at the Question Mark Man, happy to have assisted, even though I still didn't know what I had done. When he asked me if my father had an ax he could use, I said yes, and then rushed off to get it. In a matter of minutes, the two of us were taking turns cutting down the tree.

"The Doctor shouted 'TIMBER!' as the tree fell, then we raced over to where the void was still eating away at the tree. When the Doctor handed me the device, I realized that I was going to have the chance to be the hero of the world. I smiled at him and then touched the stabilizer to the dark nothing. It suddenly vanished and the tree looked like an old fallen tree. With a pile of cherry pits under it.

"The Doctor put his hand on my shoulder. 'Thank you, young man, for trusting me. You've done more for your world today than you'll ever do again. However, you'll get another chance to save it later on in your life. Whatever you do, don't flinch from it. You'll be a great man, mark my words.'

"I don’t think I'd even been prouder. And in retrospect, I guess I have had the chance to help out my country, at least. The Doctor shook my hand, then picked several cherries from the downed tree. He put them in a paisley handkerchief and then waved as he left the orchard. I waved and waved until he was out of sight."

The interviewer nodded again. He wondered when the President had lost his marbles and decided that this was one story that wouldn't be printed by his paper. "So what did your father say when he saw the tree?"

The President laughed out loud. "Well, it's nothing like in the stories. I heard his shout half a mile away. When I got to him, he asked, 'Did you cut down my best cherry tree, George?' I smiled as proudly as I could as I said, 'Yes, father, I did cut down this tree.' And then I proceeded to tell him the whole story.

"You know, I couldn't sit down for a week from the hiding I'd gotten from him. He said that if he ever caught me lying again, it would be a month before I'd be able to sit down again." The President laughed some more. "I still find it ironic that if I had just lied about it, I probably wouldn't have been punished for not telling the truth."

The interviewer agreed wholeheartedly with the former President and decided that he'd do just that. When his boss asked him for the interview, he'd have to say that Mr. George Washington spent the entire interview reminiscing about things that the readers wouldn't be interested in reading.